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Funny Sex News and An Info Piece for Peeps Who LOOOOVE Animals
March 30, 2011

Once in a while you come across a news story that's just too good to not share, like this one about Rondell Vereen, who just got out of prison after serving a two year sentence for having sex with a horse. Sure, he ain't the only guy out there sneaking sex from a horse, but he is one of the only that I know of who was stupid enough to get caught doing it twice. Yup, getting caught sneakin' some Sugar-that's the horse's name-wasn't bad enough. Oh no, lover boy just couldn't get enough of his sweet horsey fix and had to go in for seconds! In his defence, at least she was of age; Sugar is 21.

This got me to thinking about how many other people are doing the same thing and not getting caught. Is it really worth the risk? And come on - those poor horses...and sheep....and cows! Shouldn't they have a say in who they have sex with?? Anyway, I'm not here to knock anyone's tastes or anything, but rather to offer a safer suggestion for getting off with animals without risking a buggery charge or a lifetime nickname along the lines of, oh I dunno, horse fucker? Sick fuck? My suggestion: inflatable animals. That's right; you can safely anally, vaginally, or orally romance just about any animal you please so long as you stick to the inflatable variety. For just a few bucks (between $7 and $20) you can have the 3 holes of your favorite furry friend all to yourself to violate as you please. And, some even make animal noises so that you can really get into it and get the most from your experience!

Again, I ain't here to judge, but as a pet owner I can't help but be weirded out when a buggerer ends up back on our streets. Luckily for Sugar, Mr. Vereen has been ordered to keep his distance from her stable and to seek help. Maybe a nice inflatable Erotic Love Piggie could help him through this transition into society?

Just for shits and giggles, here are a few inflatable animals on sale:

Cathy the Mooing Cow: She comes complete with a rear entry and moo sounds when excited!

Screw Ewe Inflatable Love Toy: Umm...the name kinda' says it all.

Duck Off: Duzzy Duck's got rear love holes for your pleasure. Quack!

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Never Too Old for Goodie Bags
March 17, 2011

Remember how much fun it was getting goodie bags/loot bags at birthday parties when you were a kid? I used to love the excitement that came from not knowing what was in the bag and loved rifling through all the stuff in it. It really didn't even matter what was in it because getting a bag of fun stuff was always cool. Well, as an adult my love of goodie bags hasn't changed and I still get a kick out of being given a bag of stuff-just ask my family who fills a gift bag with little presents for me every Christmas. Anyway, it turns out that goodie bags aren't just for kids. As a matter of fact, I found some goodie bags for adults that just may make you squeal like a fat kid getting a loot bag full of Tootsie Rolls!

Some sex toy makers have been smart enough to cater to those of us who can't resist a bag full of goodies and have come up with bags o' fun made for naughty adults like you and I. Check these out:

For the Girlz Pipedream Bag: So perfect for a night of girl-on-girl sex, this silver bag is packed with all the essentials, like a double-ended dildo, strap-on harness and rubber dong, tightening cream, lube, a mask, and so much more! The sexual possibilities are endless with this oh-so cute little bag! Great for the bi-curious gal or any girl who enjoys playing with other girls.

Rabbit Top Hat Bag: If you've read about my love of Rabbit vibrators then you won't be surprised to know that I totally recommend this bag. What may surprise you is the price - it's on sale for around $16!! How freakin' awesome is that?? The cute top hat shaped bag is FULL of goodies: Waterproof Wabbit Vibe, Silicone Rabbit Finger Sleeve, Bunny Mini-Mite, Rabbit Sleeve, Edible Body Paint, Bubble Bath, Flavored Moist Lube, Antibacterial Toy Cleaner, Keychain Lube, Lock & Key and Satin Love Mask. What a great deal! Think of all the orgasms you can have for well under 20 bucks!!

Pipedream Bag of Love: This cute little heart-shaped bag makes the perfect gift for a lover and has so many sex items that it's sure to blow your mind! It's got: Heart Warmer Massager, Mini-Mite Massager, Bondage Tape, Satin Love Mask, Heart-Shaped Love Ring, Toy Cleaner, Liquid Love, Basix Mini Butt Plug, Love Beads, Lover's Lotto Cards, and an On-The-Go Keychain. Whoa!!

Party Girl Toys in the Bag: This corset-shaped bag comes in red or pink and is filled with everything you need for your party for two...or more! It's got flavoured lube, a vibrator, a bullet, cocking, and even anal beads and pleasure balls! I personally have handed these out as loot bags at a bachelorette I threw for a friend and they were, of course, a total hit!

Naughty School Girl Bag: Way cheaper than creating the school girl fantasy from scratch, this kit's got all you need for less: tartan G-string and tie, 2 pecker hair ties for your pig tails, a naughty note pad, vibrating hair brush, a whip key chain, and more.

 


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