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Valentine's Day Gifts for Her
January 31, 2012

Valentine's Day gifts for her don't need to be a pain in the butt to get right. Forget all the pressure that's riding on you to get her the most expensive gift imaginable and instead just try to choose something that you really think she'd enjoy. Is it safe for me to assume that if you've come here looking for a Valentine's gift for her that she likes her gifts a little naughty? Then you, my friend, have come to the right place!

I've come across a few great Valentine's Day gift ideas for her that will appeal to her naughty side while also giving her a little something for the part of her that wants romance for Valentine's Day. Have a little looksee and see if there's anything you know your gal would love.

The Amour Collection of Goodies

This entire line offers up the perfect mix of romantic and sexy with little kits containing goodies that give you all you need for a romantic evening for two or for her to enjoy solo when the mood strikes. Some of my favorites for Valentine's Day are:

Amour Tease & Please Romance Kit: The set comes with a cute little teddy bear, G-string complete with feathers at the adjustable sides, and a micro bullet vibrator that's made to fit perfectly inside the G-string for some discreet fun.

Amour Be Mine Cuddle Kit: Another sweet little kit with a teddy bear, this one also comes with a powerful pocket vibrator with 4 interchangeable tips and a bottle of sensual massage oil.

Amour Playful Massager Romance Kit: I love this one because it's fun and sexy! It comes with a red vibrator, sensual massage oil, and sexy dice to encourage some naughty fun.

A Few Other Gift Ideas for Her

There are loads of inexpensive items that you can give on their own or paired with others for the perfect combination for her. Some suggestions:

Massage Candles: Massage candles smell delicious, make for some romantic ambience, and melt down into some very luxurious massage oil that feels incredible when you massage it into her skin while it's nice and warm.

Lingerie and Panties: Women love lingerie and there are styles for all women whether they're regular size or queen size and whether they like frilly lingerie like teddies and babydolls or something a little more low key like a bra and panty set or a cami and panties.

Games for Lovers: Resist the urge to get her a drinking game and instead try a romantic game for lovers that's made to bring you closer in and out of the bedroom. Women love hot sex but they also need to feel a connection and love anything that helps you bond. A few suggestions: 52 Weeks of Romance, Foreplay Your Way (since we can never get enough foreplay!), and Love Poker.
Valentine's Day Gifts for Him
January 12, 2012

Choosing Valentine's Day gifts for him isn't easy. I blame Hallmark and anyone else who had a hand in setting all of these crazy expectations to what Valentine's Day should be and making us women feel like if we do anything short of an expensive candlelit dinner or weekend away for some lover's special at the Holiday Inn, that we're somehow being taken for granted and copping out! Breathe ladies, because choosing a Valentine's Day gift for your man that he'll actually enjoy usually has little to do with heart-shaped Belgian chocolates or a bed of roses. If you truly want to make him happy this Valentine's Day, then my suggestion is that you cater to his naughty side and choose something unexpected that will rock his world. Add a case of beer and voila-you're the best partner EVER!

Here are a few suggestions for Valentine's Day gifts for him that he's sure to enjoy;

Berman Mistress Kit: What guy wouldn't be ticked-freakin'-pink to be given a blindfold and cuffs and told that he was going to get tied up so you could have your way with him?? And better -let him tie you up afterwards so he could do as he pleases with you! A happy Valentine's Day indeed! Kit comes with fur-lined handcuffs, a blindfold, and a feather tickler.

Blowjob Coupons: Most guys want more blowjobs than they get which is what makes these coupons such an awesome gift. They're basically on-paper promises to suck him off when he wants you to! I suggest adding these with a few other goodies for the ultimate guy gift basket: A Blowjob Bib that says 'Blowjob Specialist' that'll make him laugh and blow his load all at once and some Dickalicious gel so you can enjoy a tasty treat while enhancing his experience.

USB Fleshdrives: This is basically giving him the gift of porn with convenience. These little flash drives can be plugged into the computer and enjoyed any place he pleases making them a nice little surprise for home or while he's away. You can buy all kinds of movies on these little keys featuring everything from amateur sex to fetish and gangbangs. There's definitely something for every taste! And think of how happy he'll be to be able to enjoy a little porn guilt-free!

Need a Valentine's Day Card For Him'

I couldn't write a Valentine's Day post and not mention the Ron Jeremy Valentine's cards after seeing them on Discreet-Romance.com! There is not a guy on earth who doesn't think that Ron Jeremy is, at the very least, kinda' awesome. These cards feature pics of him dressed as cupid (bahahaha!) along with funny greetings that'll have your guy in hysterics. I love them and he will too! Promise..

A Little Holiday Romance, Perhaps?
December 17, 2011


I realize that those of you in love may prefer something a tad more romantic to give than the gift ideas I shared in my last post. As much as I enjoy humor and raunch when it comes to gifts, I do also love a little romance so I thought I would give you some last minute gift ideas for that special someone.

Picking a romantic gift, as far as I'm concerned, is all about choosing something that you can enjoy together. Nothing says I love you better than showing that you want to spend a little quality time with someone over the holidays, right? The following are a few romantic Christmas gift ideas that you might want to consider if you're looking to give (and get!) a little love this holiday season.

CHOCOLATE ROMANCE GIFT BOX: Who doesn't love to indulge in some chocolate over the holidays! This gift box is romantic, sexy, and super sweet all at the same time! It comes with Sweet Touch Kissable Massage Oil, Deluxe Body Chocolate (body paint made with real Belgian chocolate!), a feather tickler, and a heart-shaped chocolate bath bomb. It's got everything you need to make for one very special Christmas Eve!

HOME BAKED MASSAGE OIL CANDLE: This delectable candle smells just like home baked cookies and melts into moisturizing massage oil for hours of sensuous fun. Great stocking stuffer!

SENSUAL TRIO GIFT SET: This is one of those gifts that's more for her but can easily be enjoyed together. Give her this set containing Vanilla Body Mist, Skinny Dip Body Hand Lotion and Bubble Bath, and a Suntouched Candle in Earthly Body Glow, that melts into a sensual massage oil. She'll feel like a pampered princess when you give her this great little set and offer to lavish her body in it. Can you say brownie points??!!

LUST GAME: This inexpensive little game is made for lovers and super easy to play! What better way to spend your nights over the holiday than playing a sexy game that encourages you to explore physical and romantic intimacies with your partner?

I hope I've managed to help you make the holidays a little more romantic with these suggestions.

Happy Holidays!
Sexy Elves, X-Mas Cock Warmers and Other Fun Christmas Ideas
November 29, 2011

Anyone notice all the Christmas movies on TV this past week? I for one loved it and was happy to spend the weekend lounging on the couch watching Elf on the 3 or 4 different channels that aired it. As a matter of fact, it was watching the movie Elf that inspired this post-well, that and my belief that lazy weekends and long Sunday afternoon sex sessions go hand-in-hand!

I love the part in the movie where Buddy the Elf falls for Jovie and says something to her about her sharing his affinity for elf culture. Too cute! Anyway, it instantly reminded me of a couple of the new items that Discreet-Romance got in just recently and I thought it would be fun to share them with you-in case you share my affinity for Elf culture, Christmas, and all things sexy.

I should say that even though I love Christmas, I've never been a big fan of the cheesy Santa-inspired lingerie that you see in the panty department of just about every store you enter. You know the kind. I guess that's why I wanted to share some of these pieces that you're about to see; they're definitely a few steps above the usual Christmas lingerie and I can actually see the appeal of these. Anyway, here are some sexy Christmas-inspired goodies to help you get in the mood...for Christmas. *wink*

Jingle Bells Sexy Elf Costume is flattering thanks to the princess seams and halter straps (great for keeping the "girls" in place!). The fact that it's incredibly cute and cupless makes it naughty and nice! It's available in regular and plus sizes.

Kris Tingle is by far one of the sexiest and least cheesy sexy Santa costumes I have ever come across! It comes with the hat, bra, cape, mini skirt, and even a G-string for a naughty surprise under the barely-there skirt. So freakin' sexy! And, it comes in queen sizes too!

Mistress Claus Red Teddy is not your usual Santa teddy because this one is actually cut in a truly flattering way and looks HOT when it's on as opposed to the cheap and ill-fitting versions you're used to seeing in discount department stores. I love that this one also comes in regular and curvy sizes.

A Few Extra Christmas-Inspired Gift Ideas

There are a few more noteworthy Christmas gift ideas for your lover that I wanted to share. Like the Merry Berry Soy Candle that smells incredible and liquefies into a sensual massage oil. I also got a kick of the X-Mas Tuggie which, while not quite as romantic, is definitely a strange/funny/is-this-for-real sorta' gift that would make a fun stocking stuffer. What is it? Well, it's a red and white striped cock warmer. Yes, really! And, the Reindeer Musical G-String is another item that's just so cheesy that it's actually funny! I love this thing and I don't care who knows it! Perfect for getting a laugh out of your guy this Christmas as well as the perfect ploy to get him out of his clothes! It's exactly what the name suggests: a G-string that looks like a reindeer and plays music. You'll never look at Rudolph the same way again!!
Sexy Goodie Bags for Your Holiday Party Guests
November 08, 2011

With the holidays on their way, I can't help but set my sights on Christmas and all of the parties my favorite time of year has to offer. As someone who loves to give as much as she loves to receive; goodie bags are always an absolute must when I throw a holiday party. As such, I've been scoping out fun little items to include in sexy loot bags for my guests-at least the ones with a naughty streak and a sense of humor.

Creating loot bags for your guests is easy and not very expensive at all if you do your homework and take a little time to find inexpensive items to include in your bag. I start with finding a fun gift bag and look for budget-friendly goodies to add to the bag. Setting a limit if you're on a budget is important and since most of us are strapped for cash over the holidays, I thought it would be nice to share some cheap items that are Christmas themed and perfect for making your friends smile without busting the bank. Have a peek at what I found while perusing Discreet-Romance.com:

Mistletoe and Condom: For less than $3 you can give your guests mistletoe to encourage a little holiday smooching along with a condom since you never know what a kiss will lead to!

12 Nights of Christmas Pillow Packs: What I love about this set is that it can be divvied up amongst all your favor bags making it especially affordable! The set includes 12 motion lotion pillow packs which works out to around $1.20 each!

Pecker X-mas Ornament: For just over 2 bucks you really can't go wrong with a pecker-shaped Christmas ornament that will give your friend a giggle and remind them of your awesome party every time they hang it on their tree.

If You Can Afford to Splurge A Little...

These are perfect for those who can afford to spend a little more on favors for their Christmas party guests:

I Rub My Duckie Holiday Ball Santa: What's better than a rubber duckie, vibrator, and Christmas ornament all-in-one??

Reflections Candy Cane Glass Vibe from Doc Johnson: This gorgeous glass vibrator is perfectly curved for G-spot action. Your friends will thank you for years to cum if you include this sex toy in their goodie bags!

Penis or Boobie Xmas Stocking: These cute plush Christmas stockings are too adorable to pass up! Just over $10 too!

Sexy Plus Size Halloween Costumes
October 06, 2011

It's hard not to want to gush about the many sexy Halloween costumes for girls with curves because the selection seems to be bigger than ever! Maybe it's the recent influx of TV shows featuring gorgeous plus size women, like Big Sexy or Drop Dead Diva? Maybe it's just that people are finally starting to see how sexy curves really are. Whatever the reason; finding sex plus size costumes has never been easier or more fun!

I trolled the many queen size costume options here at Discreet-Romance and have come up with the 5 that I personally find the sexiest of the bunch. I'm a fan of anything fun and flirty that also happens to flatter a girl's best assets and found that these do it best.

Prep School Girl plus size costume (also available in regular sizes) is very oops-i-did-it-again, if you know what I mean? Very naughty and every guy's fantasy! Too bad we didn't have curves like this when we were in school!

Robyn Da Hood is a modern day take on the classic with a sexy slant! This is the ultimate plus size Halloween costume because it's shaped to show off all your favorite bits. It's cut low for just enough cleavage, short enough to show off those legs, and the faux leather corset belt flatters the waist like nothin' else! I really LOVE this one!

Trouble At Sea is the ultimate curvy girl pirate costume! It's got everything a girl needs to make a pirate getup feminine: ruffles, a flirty shape, and va-va-va-voom!

Saloon Girl is sexy without being over-the-top which is great if you still want to look sexy but aren't quite as comfortable as I am with showin' the goods! The fit and flair shape is gorgeous and flattering and the lace and ruffles are super feminine.

Beer Maiden is a costume that I recommend for big and regular size girls alike because of what it does for the body. It flatters and enhances the curves of a big girl and manages to create curves where you want 'em on a less curvy frame.

My Top Halloween Costumes for 2011
September 14, 2011

I've never been a big fan of Halloween but admit that the recent arrival of my husband's new Halloween costume has got me a little excited and even got the what-am-I-gonna-dress-up-as juices flowing. What's his costume? A big dick. Seriously, my beloved is going as a 6 foot tall penis! Not the most flattering costume but certainly one of the funniest I've seen!

I get that some couples like to go in matching costumes or at least dress in a theme. So NOT my scene. Besides, in this case that would mean my either going as a big vagina or an anus which doesn't really offer up the sex appeal that I was hoping for. So what have I decided on? Nothing yet, though I have narrowed it down to 5 definite possibilities:

Beer Maiden/Beer Girl: Who can resist a short dress that showcases the boobs, cinches the waist with a corset, and looks hot holding a pitcher of beer??

Honey Bee: Think bee girl from the Blind Melon video only 18+ and sexy!

Lovely Lady Bug: This costume is the perfect mix of sweet and sexy thanks to the cute dots and antennae of a lady bug and the corset styling that makes ample curves even sexier or adds them where you don't have them!

Retro Stewardess: What can I say - as a former flight attendant myself, I still have a soft-spot for the look! Besides, with that new Pan Am show that everyone is talking about debuting soon, the Retro Stewardess costume could be the costume du jour!

Saloon Lady: This has got to be one of the most alluring costumes I have ever laid eyes on! It's got lace and satin, underwire cups, a corset bodice and a black tutu! Add the flirty feather headpiece, a choker and a garter, and you've got sex appeal oozing from every last inch of your body! So freakin' hot!

What do ya' think? Which would you choose?

Oral Sex Toys: Reasonable Facsimiles for the Gal Whose Guy Won't go down
August 15, 2011

I'm a fan of Nina Hartley's and get my fix by reading her column every chance I get. Her recent column talked about the giving and getting of oral sex, or rather the giving-but-not-always-getting-it-in-return. Naturally this got me to thinking about all of the hang-ups around oral sex and the number of men who just won't go down but have no issues when it comes to you bustin' out the kneepads and doing the deed. The solution? Well, you could talk to your partner and wait patiently for him to get over his vaginas are dirty hang-up or you could find a reasonable substitute for oral to keep you company while you work it out!

I had a snoop around and found a few tongue toys that offer a woman an oral sex experience without the selfish whining a man. Check out some of your options:

The Waterproof Finger Fun Tongue by Pipedreams may be small but I can't help but think that it feels closer to the real thing than one of the many other horse-size jumbo tongues on the market. This baby also slips over your finger for better control and focused stimulation.

The Mini Tongue by Lady Calston is the more compact version of THE Tongue that women have grown to know and love since it was the first of its kind. What's great about this one is that it's small enough to control just right, it feels fleshy like the real thing, and as an added bonus - it's insertable! Hello darting tongue!

Tantric Tongue 2 by Pipedreams has had many a great thing said about it. From the wiggling to the lapping, how can you not wanna try this oral sex toy? It's also more affordable than a lot of the other tongue toys.

The Tongue Twister by Golden Triangle gets an A for its added feature: the nose! This tongue gives you a realistic oral fest that's made even more realistic thanks to the nose that presses against your clit just like the real thing. And, it's flexible enough to be bent into the shape that feels best for you! LOVE IT!!


More Reasons Why Women Should Have Balls
July 13, 2011

I personally think that women often have bigger balls than a lot of men, but that's a whole other blog post. This one in particular is about vaginal balls, also often referred to as orgasmic balls, Ben Wa balls, or fantasy balls.

The great thing about having a set of balls like these is that they actually serve a couple of purposes. Yes, they feel 'effin incredible and can really enhance your orgasm or add a little somethin' extra to your anal sex, but did you know that they're also great for your health? Vaginal balls can help to strengthen a woman's PC muscles so that they don't just make sex more enjoyable but also decrease a woman's risk of suffering from incontinence and even bladder/pelvic prolapses later in life. See - good for your health just like I said.

The way these hot little balls do this is by naturally encouraging a woman's pelvic muscles to contract and get stronger. This means a tighter pussy whether you're young or old and have had one child or several! This also means better control during sex as well as a more enjoyable experience as far as the friction factor goes-and who doesn't want that??

As for the pleasure aspect of orgasmic balls; you can have your partner roll them along your body for a sensual massage or insert then while you're doing just about anything at all in order to have a little naughty fun. The balls are usually hollow with a smaller ball inside so that there's a subtle vibration felt from the balls as you move. Some come in sets of two independent balls while others are joined together and have a string or pull handle for easy removal. Both kinds can be worn during oral or anal sex too, taking the experience to a whole other super-orgasmic level - hence the name "orgasmic balls".

Whatever your reason for wanting them; they're an inexpensive source of pleasure worth trying!

How to Buy a Sex Toy When You Can Look But Not Touch?
June 23, 2011

I will forever sing the praises of shopping for sex toys online because there are just so many ways in which it is better than shopping for them in-store. The only real downside I can see to buying toys online is that you don't get touch the merchandise beforehand to know exactly how it feels. To some, this can be a deal-breaker that stops them from experiencing the joys of squealing in delight as the postal service truck drops off your discreet package containing your dirty little secrets. This is a joy that no one should ever be deprived of just because of something as small as not being able to feel a sex toy before you buy it.

It's totally understandable to want to know everything you can about a sex toy or anything else you buy before you spend your money, including how it feels and while you yourself can't experience the feeling of handling the sex toy before ordering online, you can get a good sense of what it feels like simply by taking advantage of all the information at your fingertips when shopping for sex toys online. This includes product details, reviews, and the pictures. The product information will always include specs like the materials the toy's made from and the size. If you're not good with measurements don't just guesstimate-measure! Keep a measuring tape or ruler nearby when buying sex toys online so you can see just how big-or small-your sex toy of choice is before you click the 'add to cart' button. Some surprises are good, but finding out that the cute little sex toy you got is actually mammoth is not so good. Measure and be sure.

Sex toy reviewers can be your best friends when you're trying to buy a sex toy online because they're the ones who can give you the only information that the product descriptions lack: the lowdown on how the toy feels. Take the time to read sex toy reviews of any products you're considering because they can give you the insight that will help you decide if a particular toy is what you want it to be. I get that the last thing you wanna do is read when you've got sex and toys on the mind, but spending that little bit of time could ensure that you get want you really want.

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