It took some playing around with, but I have found that the trick to having the best result with this toy is using it from behind. When my husband wears this I can feel the little tongue hit my clit even time he goes in deep. It is absolutely amazing because I get to enjoy the sensation of being penetrated by him and having my clit played with. He used to have to use his fingers to do that, but now he can focus on thrusting rather than having to be mufti-tasking. I didn't get a lot of complaints out of him either. The cock ring portion of it stretched around him well enough and he didn't say much about the vibrations. All I know is the combination of him and the toy is awesome.