By Froot by teh FUT
A Christmas Musical
:beep: :Beep: :BEEP: :WAKE UP NIGGA: Toxic woke up and sighed “fuckin wood timer” he went outside to chop wood to fill the wood stove or else his entire family would freeze to death. It was so cold outside even bundled up like some kind of gay ass nigga wearing to much prada crusin the strip he could hardly hold the axe. He started to sing to pass the time. “Day just beginning masa got me workin some day masa set me free until that day iza just keep workin until the end of day, oh day is getting hot sun right above but the burn don’t sting like the whip, oh day is long and night is short the only rest is when Im dead” Toxic noticed he had cut 40 cord of wood “papa will be so proud of me”.
“did you chop the wood”
“yes I did like a good little boy”
“son as your reward for 10 years of servitude I have got us the interwebs”
“what are these webs you speak of papa”
Toxic’s father shows him a computer and the internet then leaves
“wow this is wonderful I can ask bing anything and it just pops up I wonder if there is anything it cant find” Toxic felt this overwhelming urge he had never felt before he typed into the bing search bar (girl) he hit images he was shocked to see so many pictures of girls some even his own age. He checked the hallway and heard his dad working in the woodshed with mother as long as he could hear them grunting and moaning at the hard work of wood working he knew they would not discover him. Toxic then typed in (bronysexual furry yiff) he clicked on the first link the amount of homo erotic pony porn overwhelmed him he almost passed out. All of these pictures made him feel bad and he liked it they made him feel sexual and worst of all naughty. He closed the netscape browser and went to his bed where he said a prayer to santa clause to forgive him for his slip. He just knew he had made santas naughty list… So close to Christmas and he fucked up the onlything he had ever wanted he asked the Asian mall santa who was obviously just one of santa’s elfs for an electric heater but to toxic this means freedom. Toxic looked to the north “Santa baby just slip a heater under the tree for me I’ve been an awful good boy santa baby and hurry down the chimney tonight Santa baby a 54 inch space heater too, fire red I’ll wait up for you dear, Santa baby and hurry down the chimney tonight. Thank of all the fun I’ve missed thank of all the fellas that I havn’t kissed Next year I could be just as good if you’d check off my Christmas list Santa baby, I want a heated blanket and really that’s not a lot been an angel all year santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa honey there’s one thing I really do need the deed to a city house, santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa baby I’m filling my stockings with love letters I hope you read between the lines santa cutie and hurry down the chimney tonight. Come and trim my Christmas tree with some lingerie bought from Victoria secret I really do believe in you let’s see if you believe in me. Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a cock ring, I don’t mean a sling, santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight. Hurry down the chimney tonight Hurry tonight...” Toxic sighed and realized he had a discharge in his pajamas he went to the bathroom to wash it out and dry his pajamas so his mom wouldn’t find out.
:BEEP: :BEEP: :BEEP: Toxic rolled over “fucking wood timer” he hit it and turned it off just one more day until santa would come and free him. Toxic really had to pee and instantly went rock hard he stood in the shower and said “do you smell what the cock is cooking” chuckling to himself “hehe cock hehe Barak the rock hard cock Obama” and started peeing he thought it was so weird his morning piss smelt like coffee and honey nut cheerios then again that was his favorite cereal. He was startled by the call to prayer by his father.
“ahhh laeya alalala akbar mohomosesual no nigraaa OfaceBAMA “
Toxic turned toward the wood stove and prayed.
Toxic’s mother called “dear its time to come open presents”
This was the moment Toxic was waiting for the electric heater to warm his family for generations. He ran downstairs and looked upon the Christmas tree in all of its pure phallic form. “me first me first” he screamed like a drunk whore in a frat house. He ran to the tree looking for the biggest present as that would be the electric stove the emancipation from wood. It wasn’t here what could be going on he though maybe it is already installed Santa is magic after all. He didn’t want to seem rude so he figured he would just open all the other presents first with his family. His brother got an Playstation 4, his mother got a coupon book for free sex from dad, his dad got a life size cut out of Obama with a hole in its ass, and as toxic saw everyone’s dreams being fulfilled he knew his would be. He grabbed the long present with his name on it he unwrapped it slowly like when women bite into chocolate on tv. It was wooden and long what could this be the other end was very heavy he pulled away the paper. It was a new handle on the same old axe. He dropped it in sure terror was this some kind of fucking joke. His father came over and limp wristed put his hand on toxic’s shoulder “Son we got you a new axe handle feel that hickory in your hands it reminds me of when I was in college such stiff wood”
“tears started to well up in Toxic’s eyes how could Santa have done this to him”
his mother looked at her husband “oh give him the gift now”
Toxic perked his head up he knew THIS HAD TO BE IT
Toxic’s father walked out of the room and came back in with something small in his hand and handed it to Toxic. Toxic unwrapped it quick it was a new wood timer. Toxic fell to his knees in homo bliss as if some fat man had kicked him right in the nuts. Toxic began weeping when a song came on the radio. His mother exclaimed her love for this song and sang along with improvised words.
“rockin his ass with a dildo is what Toxic likes to do. Anal beads hung where you can see ev’ry body tries to pop. Rockin his ass with the dildo let the prostate milking spring later we can have some toxic cream pie and do some fingering, you will get a tummy tickle when a fist is inside” Toxic stopped his mother right there “mom as much as I love you singing to me it just wont help right now.” Toxic went upstairs and putt on his playlist (gloomy days) he was crying into his pillow when an Elves Prastney song came on.
“I’ll have blue balls without you They will be so blue just thinking of you nipple clamps of black leather on my nips won’t be the same stud if you’re not here with me and when those blue balls start hurting that’s when those blue balls start calling, your asshole so tight with your necklace of white, But I’ll have a blue blue blue blue ball Christmas” The wood timer went off and toxic was going downstairs to chop wood maybe this new handle would make wood chopping safer the old wooden handle always gave him nasty splinters. As Toxic chopped enough wood to last another fifteen minutes he reset his new timer and went inside to play a game of dota. He got on vent and fighting off tears said hi to all of his friends. Everyone was afk. Toxic never felt so alone no-one could ever understand. “Today I spent another lonely Christmas, Dran Darlin you should’ve been there cus all the ones I dream about you are the one that makes my love spurt you see you are the only one I care for, Remember the times we swam naked in your father’s pool. Boy you were to tight that night but boy were you ever so cool, remember that night we played Mario for drugs and you beat koopa on small remember how you use to scream so loud cus you hated my weird thumb? Hey, I saw your sister’s panties in the hall this afternoon God they smelt heavenly how she’s grown she gives that poon to all the skater boys. But of all your father’s children all your fathers children baby you know you are the sluttiest of them all you are gayer than a flag waving parade. And I last night I spent another lonely Christmas Drarling Dran you should’ve been here…” Toxic sighed and walked inside loaded the stove with wood went off to masturbate to something really fucked up on the internet like cartoon boys getting fucked by adult cartoon furry dog things as bronys watched.