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What does one do when various court orders restrict one's midget-based activities? Do you just give up the dream and start masturbating to regular porn again? Do you get a job and start a "relationship"? Or do you spend a measly $19 and actually become the proud owner of your very own midget? Has there ever been a more rhetorical question than this? Finding a midget who is willing to act out your favourite movie scenes in midget-form is almost like a sexual holy grail, but with this doll the search for that elusive goblet comes to an abrupt end. "Blessed are the midgets, for they shall inherit my penis" said a wise man whose initials are P.M. This doll is very life-like, in that it looks just like a midget, and also squeaks when you use it dry/straight out of the box. The blank, vacant, unimpressed eyes of the creature stare through you with crushing efficiency and make you realise that the only way you'll ever win this doll's respect is if you make sexy times against it's face with your purple-headed veiny meat-mallet. $19, folks. How can you possibly go wrong? I'll tell ya for how - by not buying this midget. PROS: * Easy wipe; no more stubborn jellied-milk stains! * It's a midget * It's a midget * It's a midget who will let you make sex inside her rubber fanny * Is $19 * Won't call the cops, OR tell you you're fat and ugly and talentless and have a crap haircut * IT'S A MIDGET! CONS: * Isn't real * Doesn't come with a leprechaun outfit * Starts to stink after three or four goes * Can't sustain the extra gravitational encumbrance imposed by a full-sized strap-on when standing upright A great man once wrote: "Life is like a box of chocolates; sometimes there's chewy ones, which are nice, and sometimes there are ones filled with creams and fruit, which are also nice." I think you know where I'm coming from. BUY THIS MIDGET!

Shoppers, i was once like you.. sitting at home midget-less and lonely. BUT i took a chance, a tiny p.v.c. ,three foot, brown-paper-wrapped chance. one lonely friday night after a couple of strawberry daquiris i brought meme home and it changed my life. i tell you shoppers once you get the gimp mask and cuffs on her , in a dark alley you would be hard pressed telling the difference between this and a real pint-sized lover. i was SO happy with my purchase i bought 4 more that night. Now i can have all the fun of a midget orgy without all the fuss. and the best part is because she is totally waterproof highly inflatable and doesnt sunburn i now take her with me to the beach for picnics. happy days are here shoppers, get yours today.