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Funny Sex News and An Info Piece for Peeps Who LOOOOVE Animals
March 30, 2011

Once in a while you come across a news story that's just too good to not share, like this one about Rondell Vereen, who just got out of prison after serving a two year sentence for having sex with a horse. Sure, he ain't the only guy out there sneaking sex from a horse, but he is one of the only that I know of who was stupid enough to get caught doing it twice. Yup, getting caught sneakin' some Sugar-that's the horse's name-wasn't bad enough. Oh no, lover boy just couldn't get enough of his sweet horsey fix and had to go in for seconds! In his defence, at least she was of age; Sugar is 21.

This got me to thinking about how many other people are doing the same thing and not getting caught. Is it really worth the risk? And come on - those poor horses...and sheep....and cows! Shouldn't they have a say in who they have sex with?? Anyway, I'm not here to knock anyone's tastes or anything, but rather to offer a safer suggestion for getting off with animals without risking a buggery charge or a lifetime nickname along the lines of, oh I dunno, horse fucker? Sick fuck? My suggestion: inflatable animals. That's right; you can safely anally, vaginally, or orally romance just about any animal you please so long as you stick to the inflatable variety. For just a few bucks (between $7 and $20) you can have the 3 holes of your favorite furry friend all to yourself to violate as you please. And, some even make animal noises so that you can really get into it and get the most from your experience!

Again, I ain't here to judge, but as a pet owner I can't help but be weirded out when a buggerer ends up back on our streets. Luckily for Sugar, Mr. Vereen has been ordered to keep his distance from her stable and to seek help. Maybe a nice inflatable Erotic Love Piggie could help him through this transition into society?

Just for shits and giggles, here are a few inflatable animals on sale:

Cathy the Mooing Cow: She comes complete with a rear entry and moo sounds when excited!

Screw Ewe Inflatable Love Toy: Umm...the name kinda' says it all.

Duck Off: Duzzy Duck's got rear love holes for your pleasure. Quack!


Humor: Love Making
April 06, 2006

Something I came across and found humorous

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often: We will wake the kids - 54 times, It's too late - 15 times, I'm too tired - 42 times, It's too early - 12 times, It's too hot - 18 times, Pretending to be asleep - 31 times, The neighbors will hear - 9 times, Headache or backache - 26 times, Sunburn - 10 times, Your mother will hear us - 9 times, Not in the mood - 21 times, Watching the late show - 17 times, Too sore - 26 times, New hairdo - 6 times, Wrong time of the month - 14 times, You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times. Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

You can submit your adult humor as long as it is not extremely offensive.


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